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cj8mike
11-22-2010, 10:27 AM
As you are feasting on a wonderful meal this Thanksgiving, imagine if you
will, you are only two inches tall traversing the Mini-Turkey Rubicon.
As you winch yourself over the Mashed potatoes, you eye up a deep gravy
crossing, thankful for the new bendable straw snorkel, you ford through the
gravy with no problem, even the lumps are no match for your 0.33 Mud
tires. Soon you see Turkey Back, one of the most difficult parts, crawling
over the drumstick you carefully avoid the giblets (although you may go back
later.) Now all that money in gears and lockers are worth it. Over the
breast you climb all the way to the wishbone! You made it! but going back is
even tougher. You choose and alternate route taking the wing for an
off camber thrill. As you find yourself stuck in the stuffing, you pull out
your trusty winch cable and bring yourself to the edge of the green been
casserole. Remembering to tread lightly, you barely disturb the lush green
vegetation pleasing the surrounding tree huggers. Finding your way across
the table, you climb the rock pile of buns, you occasionally loose traction
on the butter spills left behind by the carnage of less
prepared and less skilled drivers. Suddenly snap! you too join the list of
broken axles.Fortunately you find a toothpick and get yourself rolling again.
Sadly you
find that Pumpkin Pie is now closed due to all the land grabs so you head to
the RTI Spatula to flex your suspension. Then you decide to skip cranberry
hill and call it a day.

Now that you have read this, you will never look at a Thanksgiving Dinner
the same way again.

> > Happy Thanksgiving

njjpgrl
11-22-2010, 01:19 PM
Now the holiday season has begun....thanks Mike, always a classic

Jeepin_Al
11-22-2010, 03:55 PM
As long as we are in the mood:

Recently I received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND BLESSINGS TO ALL!
(No PITA Complaints Please its a Joke!!)

rozzo842
11-22-2010, 04:08 PM
A thanksgiving clasic, thanks Mike!

gellio
11-22-2010, 06:58 PM
AL's got my vote...............

Unlimited
11-22-2010, 07:20 PM
Gobble gobble gobble

Happy turkey day to ALL

Irongrave
11-22-2010, 09:12 PM
Al's is a classic though Mike's is perfect for us wheelers

njjpgrl
11-23-2010, 01:19 PM
Here's another old one from a former member...George Logan


One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a
>> > pet shop looking an
>> > unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner
>> > suggested a parrot,
>> > named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas
>> > carols. This seemed like
>> > the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The
>> > young man asked,
>> > excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly
>> > under his feet." was
>> > the shop owner's reply. The shop owner held a match
>> > under Chet's left foot
>> > and he began to sing: "Jingle
>> > Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then
>> > held another match
>> > under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune
>> > changed, and the air was
>> > filled with: "Silent Night. Holy Night..." The
>> > young man was so
>> > impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home
>> > as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm.
>> >
>> > When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.
>> > "How beautiful!" She
>> > exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No,"the young man
>> > replied, "But he can sing.
>> > Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his
>> > lighter and placed it
>> > under Chet's
>> > left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and
>> > Chet crooned: "Jingle
>> > Bells! Jingle Bells!..." The man then moved the
>> > lighter to Chet's right
>> > foot, and out came: "Silent Night. Holy Night..."
>> > The wife, her face
>> > filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold
>> > the lighter between
>> > his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it." He
>> > answered, eager to
>> > please his wife. So they held the lighter between
>> > Chet's legs. Chet
>> > twisted his face, cleared his throat, the little
>> > parrot sang out loudly
>> > (like it was the performance of his life):
>>
>> Are you ready for this???
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."
>>
>> -
>>
>